[ Boa doesn't know. He doesn't know how to not try. He's never in his life not chased after something with all his might, because that is the only way he knows to exist. If he isn't trying, if he isn't pushing himself past the limit, does he even exist at all? He doesn't know. He can't ever stop giving his best.
And he hasn't experienced anything like Lance had - the people he loves are alive, he himself is the only person he truly failed.

Boa stares at Lance wide-eyed. He hasn't considered enough how different they really are, how different everything about them is. There is a lot he has to learn about relating to others.
But he can imagine. Imagine the taste of failure if the body he stumbles over on a Friday was a child from Derry, terror the last thing on their face. He can imagine how much it would hurt. And he understands Lance a little better for it. ]

That's--- Lance, I mean now!!

[ And then he doesn't know how to continue without it being supremely embarrassing, so there is a short break. But now that he's started, he can hardly abandon this, can he? ]

I'm not going to die if you don't pretend to be okay now. Nothing bad is going to happen. Idiot.