Wow, it's getting late. I should probably go back...
[ Usagi wipes her brow, and then shuts the paint can before taking it to head back. She's in actually good spirits regarding the progress. This paint can's pretty much done, so she'll toss it in the morning when it's easier to see what she's doing and then she'll drag out another one. ]
[ This evening has been frustrating to say the least. They'd had had a good planning, Mitsuru, Eddie and him. Boa had been confident that they'd be able to avoid all the chaos of the night by sticking together as suggested.
But of course, camp never makes anything easy. Never, ever. Of course they had to be split up, so now he has to worry about everyone. It's maddening. No matter what they do, camp always seems to find a way to mess it up.
Boa's not sure where he is going anymore. He kicks the sand angrily as he walks, mostly just trying to vent his frustrations and ignore that terrible feeling of being watched that lingers in his head. ]
[ It's a noise, and in the dark, Usagi doesn't immediately see a person the way the noise comes from. She panics. What if it's the moose? What if she's in trouble, stayed out too late and now it's coming for her? All she really has on her right now is the paint bucket. So she does the one thing she can think to do.
She fucking throws it in the direction. TAKE THAT, MOOSE, IT'S A DISTRACTION!
[ Something hits Boa on the arm and he can't immediately place what it is nor does he wants to. The dull pain of the hit is hardly notable either, not over the harsh spike of adrenaline as all his nerves on into alert position.
Someone is going to die tonight and someone attacked me are two thoughts that conflate to a terrifying conclusion in Boa's head and Boa's blood is instantly pounding in his ears.
If he runs now he puts whoever it is behind him and leaves his back open, so he can't do that. Instead he charges forward, just aiming to pin whoever it is to the shack with his body weight. ]
[ She finally makes out what she threw the bucket at, and holds her hands up to try and diffuse the situation. ]
Wait, Boa, I'm so--
[ Right until he slams her into the wall of the shack. Ow. That kinda really hurt, and definitely knocked the wind out of her. So there goes any apologizing. ]
[ Of course, it's her. Over and over, in his way with her prim and proper morals with her generalized support with her words that spread through his head further and further the longer he leaves them, the same as the stone.
Maybe I am going to die for somebody. He's had everything she said about that in his head ever since the incident with Eddie and the lake cats and it's been driving him crazy.
Maybe he is going to die for someone, but he's not going to die for her or by her hands. Her half-stated apology doesn't register with him, his mind isn't in the right place to complete the phrase.
He's angry at her, he's been angry at her this whole time. Go to the RV area? Do... whatever that was with Ren and the stone god? For all she talks about the value life, Boa feels like everyone else's life matters very little to her.
He's not going to let her hurt him. He's not going to--
His hands wrap around her neck before he knows it. Is this self-defense? Is this manifestation of his anger? Boa doesn't know. The blood in his ears keeps pounding. ]
[ When you fight for your life almost daily, you lose the fear of death. You may want to live, but it doesn't make you really scared of dying. Especially when you've died before. She chokes against his hold, trying to breathe, and she reaches up to try and pull his hands off. Not for her sake, really, because she was never intending on leaving this camp alive. The Silver Crystal comes with a high price, after all.
But if he kills her, he's going to be put on trial and killed--they've found every other person successfully, after all. And that, more than anything, is what bothers her, really. Because that's the kind of person Usagi is. Her life doesn't have much value on its own, not compared to everyone else here.
She's not conscious for long, though, and the struggle doesn't last too long. Because mun looked it up and while it takes three minutes about to kill someone like this, they go unconscious after seconds. Her eyes are still open, kind of staring at him blankly. So have fun with that, Boa. ]
[ For the time period of her struggle, all Boa can think of is that he can't lose. This is a fight and the one who lets go loses, plain and simple. He's never killed someone. He's never even fought someone like this. He's never been this angry and this afraid all at once.
Only when she stops struggling, it catches up to him what's happening.
She threw a ... a... something. But he...? He's choking her. He's the aggressor. He's the one doing this. He has his hands around her neck so tightly, as tight as he can manage. And it's so easy to hold her in place. Boa has strong arms, strong hands. It's way too easy.
And he should be letting go now, but her blank eyes are haunting him, taunting him. He started this. He can't stand the look he knows she will give him if he stops now. He can't stand the look he knows everyone else will give him if he stops now.
Nobody should look at him like that. Ever.
Boa can't stand it, he can't stand it, he can't give up, he can't quit, he can't--- He can't...
He grits his teeth with such force that his jaw starts hurting, but he doesn't let go. He's afraid to let go. Whenever he leaves this position he assumed, that's when time starts ticking again and then he will have to face what just happened.
He can't.
I want to survive.
Nobody would trust him anymore if this became public. They'd kill him. He'd die.
I don't want to die.
His arms are shaking, but his hands don't loosen their grip. ]
[ It's easy, at that point, isn't it? To sit through the twitches and spasms of a body trying desperately to breathe. As he holds her throat, while she can't fight back, all she can do is look up at him with unseeing eyes. The eyes that're sad for him. And then, eventually, even the twitching stops. She won't move anymore. Even when he removes his hands, the chest that was heaving moments before in an attempt to breathe won't resume its movement. She's just still, the wet paint of the shack clinging to her back, smudged behind her while the ground around it is disturbed from her attempts to survive without hurting him.
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[ Usagi wipes her brow, and then shuts the paint can before taking it to head back. She's in actually good spirits regarding the progress. This paint can's pretty much done, so she'll toss it in the morning when it's easier to see what she's doing and then she'll drag out another one. ]
Okay, time to head back! Progress made!
[ And off she goes! ]
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But of course, camp never makes anything easy. Never, ever. Of course they had to be split up, so now he has to worry about everyone. It's maddening. No matter what they do, camp always seems to find a way to mess it up.
Boa's not sure where he is going anymore. He kicks the sand angrily as he walks, mostly just trying to vent his frustrations and ignore that terrible feeling of being watched that lingers in his head. ]
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She fucking throws it in the direction. TAKE THAT, MOOSE, IT'S A DISTRACTION!
--Wait is that a moose? ]
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Someone is going to die tonight and someone attacked me are two thoughts that conflate to a terrifying conclusion in Boa's head and Boa's blood is instantly pounding in his ears.
If he runs now he puts whoever it is behind him and leaves his back open, so he can't do that. Instead he charges forward, just aiming to pin whoever it is to the shack with his body weight. ]
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Wait, Boa, I'm so--
[ Right until he slams her into the wall of the shack. Ow. That kinda really hurt, and definitely knocked the wind out of her. So there goes any apologizing. ]
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Maybe I am going to die for somebody. He's had everything she said about that in his head ever since the incident with Eddie and the lake cats and it's been driving him crazy.
Maybe he is going to die for someone, but he's not going to die for her or by her hands. Her half-stated apology doesn't register with him, his mind isn't in the right place to complete the phrase.
He's angry at her, he's been angry at her this whole time. Go to the RV area? Do... whatever that was with Ren and the stone god? For all she talks about the value life, Boa feels like everyone else's life matters very little to her.
He's not going to let her hurt him. He's not going to--
His hands wrap around her neck before he knows it. Is this self-defense? Is this manifestation of his anger? Boa doesn't know. The blood in his ears keeps pounding. ]
The things I look up for RP
But if he kills her, he's going to be put on trial and killed--they've found every other person successfully, after all. And that, more than anything, is what bothers her, really. Because that's the kind of person Usagi is. Her life doesn't have much value on its own, not compared to everyone else here.
She's not conscious for long, though, and the struggle doesn't last too long. Because mun looked it up and while it takes three minutes about to kill someone like this, they go unconscious after seconds. Her eyes are still open, kind of staring at him blankly. So have fun with that, Boa. ]
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Only when she stops struggling, it catches up to him what's happening.
She threw a ... a... something. But he...? He's choking her. He's the aggressor. He's the one doing this. He has his hands around her neck so tightly, as tight as he can manage. And it's so easy to hold her in place. Boa has strong arms, strong hands. It's way too easy.
And he should be letting go now, but her blank eyes are haunting him, taunting him. He started this. He can't stand the look he knows she will give him if he stops now. He can't stand the look he knows everyone else will give him if he stops now.
Nobody should look at him like that. Ever.
Boa can't stand it, he can't stand it, he can't give up, he can't quit, he can't--- He can't...
He grits his teeth with such force that his jaw starts hurting, but he doesn't let go. He's afraid to let go. Whenever he leaves this position he assumed, that's when time starts ticking again and then he will have to face what just happened.
He can't.
I want to survive.
Nobody would trust him anymore if this became public. They'd kill him. He'd die.
I don't want to die.
His arms are shaking, but his hands don't loosen their grip. ]
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Usagi Tsukino is dead. ]