[This is stupid. He knows that if he just sticks to the plan, just like he told Nine, he would likely survive another night, just as with the rest.
Survive... to what? Eventually, if the stars aligned, return to his Journey? A Journey that was part of a plan that Ren himself had already said was bad, bad enough to deserve scrapping entirely and starting from scratch.
Was it Solebria, and its destruction? That's what Mitsuru had assumed at first, not wanting to think of the bigger possibility, the thought that maybe it wasn't just Solebria, maybe it was the root of it all.
Maybe it was his wish itself.
Throwing himself into his Journey had been all or nothing from the start. He saw well enough the strain in his aunt as she worked to care for a child forced upon her by a family that rejected him time and time again. He took heart in knowing that at best he would be returned to his family as it should have been, and at worst he'd simply be another missing child, no longer a burden for her to bear.
It was all or nothing, but now as he looks upon it, the answer he sees is a long, long void, stretched out not unlike the side of a towering building.
Maybe the idea was wrong from its conception.
Maybe that wasn't the way fate was supposed to twist, that day.
It's a very long pause before he answers, but once he does, his feet have stopped. Because he won't be going to Cabin 4, not tonight, and maybe never again.]
...Both of us... we're threats. We both know that.
[His voice, somehow, remains steady even though his core shakes. Because he knows what lies on the end of this path, and he knows logically he should divert himself, but, but, but--
Cw: suicide
Survive... to what? Eventually, if the stars aligned, return to his Journey? A Journey that was part of a plan that Ren himself had already said was bad, bad enough to deserve scrapping entirely and starting from scratch.
Was it Solebria, and its destruction?
That's what Mitsuru had assumed at first, not wanting to think of the bigger possibility, the thought that maybe it wasn't just Solebria, maybe it was the root of it all.
Maybe it was his wish itself.
Throwing himself into his Journey had been all or nothing from the start. He saw well enough the strain in his aunt as she worked to care for a child forced upon her by a family that rejected him time and time again. He took heart in knowing that at best he would be returned to his family as it should have been, and at worst he'd simply be another missing child, no longer a burden for her to bear.
It was all or nothing, but now as he looks upon it, the answer he sees is a long, long void, stretched out not unlike the side of a towering building.
Maybe the idea was wrong from its conception.
Maybe that wasn't the way fate was supposed to twist, that day.
It's a very long pause before he answers, but once he does, his feet have stopped. Because he won't be going to Cabin 4, not tonight, and maybe never again.]
...Both of us... we're threats. We both know that.
[His voice, somehow, remains steady even though his core shakes. Because he knows what lies on the end of this path, and he knows logically he should divert himself, but, but, but--
Maybe this was the better way of it all along.]